Each year, with the coming of autumn, many parents experience melancholy—and not just because of the change of season. When sons and daughters head off to college, the sting of letting go often overpowers any pride and joy we might feel from knowing they are growing up. It’s often difficult to watch our budding adults abandon the nest so they can spread wings and fly on their own.
It feels painfully unnatural to simply let go and say goodbye. Although we are happy to see our kids grow up, it’s easy to become plagued by the ‘what ifs’ and ‘if onlys’ once we accept the fact that they really are moving on. What if he runs out of money? What if she gets homesick? If only she had a close friend to help her adjust. If only we had prepared him better. The rollercoaster of emotions takes us on a turbulent journey of ups and downs.
Many of my friends are in this particular season of change, and I know all too well how they feel. In the same year that our got daughter married and moved out of the house, our son graduated high school and started college. It was a very difficult season of change, and if I’m being completely honest, my heart still aches from time to time.
One of my friends shared her heartache over sending their firstborn off to college. At first she seemed to be taking the changes in stride but all at once, the floodgates burst open with the sudden realization… her son was actually going away.
Although our son lives at home and commutes to college, I can still relate to the pain of letting go. College students lead busy lives. When he’s not at school, he’s doing homework, hanging out with friends, or working his part-time job. When our daughter got married, I felt like I lost my best friend. We were very close. I couldn’t imagine life in this house without her.
Change is always hard, partly because we don’t want to let go, but also because we fear the unknown.
They say time heals all wounds, and for me personally, the statement rings true. God continues to fill the void in my heart through new challenges and activities. My relationship with my kids is changing, but I will never stop being their mom.
God has a plan and purpose for each of our lives and raising kids is only a part of it. God is not finished with me, and He is not finished with you either. Go ahead and grieve. Let the tears flow. It’s all part of the process. Then, after some time of healing, open your heart to the next chapter of life and embrace what lies ahead.
“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” (Jeremiah 29:11)
“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” (Isaiah 43:19)