“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24)
I married my husband at a fairly young age – twenty to be exact. I felt extremely mature at the time but looking back, I was just a child. Shortly after the nuptials, an event took place to confirm that fact. Two days into our honeymoon vacation I cried like a baby when reality sunk in. This was real. I was married, and this was permanent change to my life. It was a sobering and frightening thought. Looking back on that moment, I can’t help but wonder what was going through my poor husband’s mind. I remember seeing his questioning look through my tear-filled eyes, a look that said… don’t you want to be with me?
Of course I wanted to be with him; I loved him! Still do! But something deep inside me was mourning for what used to be. I had never lived on my own before, nor had I ever been away from my mom and dad for more than a week at a time. I was the baby of our family – the youngest of three children. My brother and sister would probably agree that my coveted position in the family included a fair amount of coddling.
I now understand the social structure of a family from a new perspective. Our youngest is nearly twenty-one, and although he still lives at home and commutes to college, he is a man. He may be a man to the world, but in my heart he’ll always be my little boy.
As tears flowed from my eyes, realization set in. My “position” had changed. I was no longer a child; I was an adult – a wife of a man barely older than me. With marriage came all sorts of responsibilities. What if I couldn’t handle them all? What if I failed? What if, what if, what if. Every decision, desire, and dream of mine would now need to be considered in light of my new husband – my soul mate.
God’s Word tells us that we are to leave and cleave. It was His design from the beginning.
“The Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
The man said,
‘This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.’
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:21-24)
It’s not easy to cleave to our husbands, especially when conflicts and disagreements arise. But God never promised it would be easy. In fact, when sin entered the world, God painted a picture of marriage that included strife and struggle.
“To the woman he [God] said,
‘I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing;
with pain you will give birth to children.
Your desire will be for your husband,
and he will rule over you.’
To Adam he [God] said, ‘Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat of it,’
‘Cursed is the ground because of you;
through painful toil you will eat of it
all the days of your life.
It will produce thorns and thistles for you,
and you will eat the plants of the field.
By the sweat of your brow
you will eat your food
until you return to the ground,
since from it you were taken;
for dust you are
and to dust you will return.’” (Genesis 3:16-19)
Immediately following this proclamation, Adam and Eve were commanded to leave the Garden of Eden. They no longer lived in utopia – and guess what? Neither do we! The only true paradise is in heaven; and until we get there, we are going to struggle in our marriage relationship. Regardless of our feelings, regardless of our personal desires, our relationship with our spouse is second only to our relationship with God.
When we live according to God’s Word and keep our priorities in order, God pours down His blessings and brings forth an abundant harvest of fruit.
“If you follow my decrees and are careful to obey my commands, I will send you rain in its season, and the ground will yield its crops and the trees of the field their fruit.” (Leviticus 26:3-4)
Disclaimer: If you are in an abusive marriage relationship of any kind, seek help immediately through the professionals in your community.