By Rae Lynn DeAngelis
A few weeks after my dad passed from Alzheimer’s complications, something amazing happened, something I will never forget. Something that has been carrying me through this holiday season, a season that can be difficult when you have lost a loved one.
In early October of this year, my husband and I were hosting out of town family who were staying with us for my dad’s upcoming celebration of life service. Typically, I’m awake by 5:00 am, long before everyone else is up and moving. However, on this morning, I had trouble getting out of bed. I was filled with grief over the loss of my dad and was overwhelmed by feelings I’ve never before experienced, at least not to this degree.
I was also exhausted from the recent whirlwind of events over the prior weeks. I tried rallying myself to get up so I could start the coffee maker and get things ready for our guests, but my mind kept drifting to memories of my dad. I couldn’t believe he was gone.
I started thinking about how God had shown up in tangible ways, helping us get through not only the past several weeks, but also the past several years since dad’s diagnosis. My mom took such great care of my dad. We all marveled at how she was so calm and patient with him. Even after mom could no longer care for him at home, she went to the care facility, daily, so dad would have a familiar presence by his side.
When I received the call that dad was rapidly declining, I was able to get on a plane to Florida in record time. The entire flight, I kept praying, God please let me get to see my dad one last time. God answered that prayer. My mom picked me up at the airport, and we drove straight to dad’s care facility.
I was thankful dad was still hanging on but wasn’t sure if he would know me anymore. When I entered his room, his eyes were opened, but they looked dull and empty. Alzheimer’s had ravaged my dad’s mind and body over the years until he had become a mere shadow of himself. When I bent down to kiss his forehead, a tear rolled down his cheek. His reaction surprised me—he definitely knew we were there with him. Mom and I spent the next two days by his side soaking-in every precious moment until God took him home.
The full weight of grief hit me once again with those final memories of my dad. I rolled to my side and laid there a little longer. I knew dad would be honored by the special memorial service we had planned for him. Before Alzheimer’s, Dad had loved a good party. He was a “social butterfly” who loved people and had a way of making everyone feel special. I loved that about him.
Lost in memories once again, I heard muffled voices coming from the living room. Oh no, I thought. I’ve missed my opportunity to get up before everyone else. I jumped out of bed and hurried into the living room where my mom and sister were awake and talking. But they were not just talking to each other. Leaning up against the table was my dad. They were telling him all about his upcoming celebration of life service and how they were so glad he was going to be there with us. I couldn’t believe it; Dad was right there in my living room! I immediately ran over and wrapped my arms around him. “Dad! I can’t believe you are here!”
He didn’t say anything. He just hugged me back tighter the longer we embraced. I could feel his warm body pressed against mine, his strong arms holding me close. I laid my head on his chest and could feel his heart beating. I could even smell his aftershave and feel the rise and fall of his chest with each breath. I didn’t want to let go, so I just kept hugging him, sobbing the entire time. It was the most real dream I’ve ever experienced. Dad was whole again. He was no longer sick or frail. He was just like I remembered him, before he became sick.
Then all at once, he disappeared, and I woke up. Tears were still streaming down my cheeks, and my body was shaking with sobs. I laid there for a moment, trying to process what I had just experienced. My husband reached over and held me, asking if I was okay. I told him about my dream and how it was so real. He then shared how he had a similar experience when his mom died.
Later, when I relayed the dream to my mom, she said that she had a similar experience when her mom died too.
Even though it was all a dream, it gave me such a sense of peace. It was a gift from God. I truly believe God gave me that dream to help my broken heart heal through those wonderful hugs from heaven.
Yes, I still miss my dad and sometimes feel very sad. But I am also thankful that I can go back to that beautiful dream in my mind and remember, dad is whole, he gave me a goodbye hug, and I will see him again.
“And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away” (Revelation 21:3-4).
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).
Dear Lord, I lift up to you all of those reading this right now who have lost loved ones and are struggling with grief, trying to get through what is supposed to be a joyful time of the year. I pray you would give each broken heart hugs from heaven, and bind up their wounds, just like you did for me. Thank you, Lord, for answered prayer. Amen
Looking for a way to connect with God daily? Check out our daily devotional books. (They make great gifts too!): Living in Truth Day by Day *** Living in Truth Mind, Body, Spirit *** Living in Truth: A Christmas Devotional
