What you are about to read is one woman’s recovery journey up close, personal, and in real time. Rhonda Stinson, my longtime friend and sister in Christ, has been battling an eating disorder for a very long time. She is ready to be free! Over the coming weeks and months, Rhonda has agreed to share her journey with us – the good, the bad, and the ugly. We pray that you are encouraged and empowered through her story.
The footprints we leave behind show clearly where we have been, but they do not dictate where we can now go. ~Ralph Martson
By Rhonda Stinson
Pow! I was awakened out of a sound sleep when I heard the shot, and the next thing I knew I’d been hit. I couldn’t see the shooter, but I knew exactly who held the smoking gun. From this day, June 8, 2016, I was sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt; my life would be forever changed.
For those whom I’ve never met, my name is Rhonda—age 40—a 24 year addict.
I’ve been through inpatient and outpatient eating disorder centers, frequented psychologists, dietitians, and support groups, yet still grasping tightly to the eating disorder.
I’ve struggled with overeating and bulimia, but the majority of this 24 year tenure has been with anorexia and extreme over-exercising.
After such a long time of living entangled to addiction, I reached a point at which I’d become so entangled that I couldn’t get out. No matter what the cost, there was no way I could give up the addictions. It was my comfort and resting place, the one place I could go to find relief.
Week prior to June 8, 2016… I’d reached a place of utter misery, such a miserable state that I would not wish it upon anyone. I didn’t want to attend church, pray, read my Bible or talk to anyone who’d speak God’s truth to me (one specific person, Rae Lynn DeAngelis). I concluded that I’d been disobedient to God’s will and that He’d finally just let me continue in the path I’d chosen. Why would a loving God even put up with me for this long? I’d reached the point of no return. This was the path I’d chosen.
Day of June 8, 2016… I’m busy getting things together for a yard sale when the cell rings (caller ID—Rae Lynn). I knew I had to answer it or else I’d have to call her back. I wanted to hide in secrecy for as long as possible, but after a period of friendly chat, she asked how I was doing. This was the matter of which I did not want to discuss, but I proceeded to let it all out. I revealed my sinfulness and misery because I know she loves me with every ounce of herself and wants nothing but good for me. She told me about a message she’d heard at a recent conference and posed a question to me, one of the same questions the conference orator had spoken.
Pow! The sound of the shot.., “So how long, Rhonda? How much longer are you going to make them wait?”
By “them” she was referring to those God wants to reach through me.
I was awakened out of a sound sleep when I heard the shot, and the next thing I knew I’d been hit. I couldn’t see the shooter, but I knew exactly who held the smoking gun. It was like God was asking me this question face to face, “How long, Rhonda?” It will forever be etched in my memory. That was what I needed.
After 24 years of unwillingness to sacrifice myself to God, it was now time.
From this day, June 8, 2016, and forward I am fully assured my life would be forever changed. Being humbled and broken in a state of total dependence upon God is exactly where He wanted me to be.
I’ve rededicated my life to God and, through His grace and mercy, look forward to the journey ahead.
This is my journey, fully exposed. I will bring you the highs and lows of this walk so you will come to see what happens in the life of one who has surrendered her life to walk a life pleasing to God.
I am excited to have a fresh start, so let’s rock ‘n’ roll!
To be continued…