By Rae Lynn DeAngelis
“… until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.” (Ephesians 4:13)
When my siblings and I were young, our mom kept growth charts for each of us. Every year, she entered a collection of data into her journal to track our progress. Gathering the information involved a tape measure, straight wall, flat floor, and trustworthy scale.
I didn’t mind the growth measuring process when I was young, but as I got older (about seven or so), I began to hate the whole experience. I distinctly remember the day it became humiliating for me. It was the year that I began understanding the information my mom was collecting. (Or more accurately, the moment I began comparing my measurements to my sister’s.)
Although my sister was five years older than me, I weighed only a couple of pounds less than her. Her body type was naturally tiny and petite. Mine was not. Compared to her I felt like a big, fat elephant. Although I didn’t let my mom know it, I was mortified by the whole process, especially once I realized that I was bigger than my sister. Words cannot describe how relieved I became the year that my mom finally stopped recording our height and weight.
As an adult I realize that comparing ourselves to others is never a healthy practice. We either come away feeling deflated (loathing ourselves), or we come away feeling prideful, believing we are better than those around us. Critical thought patterns can lead to destructive behavior patterns, especially when they’re not dealt with in a godly manner.
There was nothing wrong with my mom wanting to journal our measurements. She was doing what many mothers do, recording the developmental milestones of her children. Satan, however, used this opportunity to twist my perception, turning my thought patterns into an all-consuming, self-loathing mindset that eventually became a harmful weapon of self-destruction.
By age fifteen, I was in bondage to my eating disorder. I hated who I was on the inside and detested how I looked outside. My self-esteem was defaced in the wake of Satan’s deception. And all because the enemy recognized my weakness and used it to his advantage.
“Jesus said, ‘If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’” (John 8:31-32)
In order to truly overcome self-destructive thought patterns, we must renew our minds with God’s truth. “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5)
When Satan tempts us to compare ourselves with others, we need to remember the true standard by which all things are measured—God’s incomparable love.
“The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7b-c)
May our hearts and minds be renewed by accepting this truth: we are loved by God, and it has absolutely nothing to do with outward appearance.
When we play the comparison game, what we’re really doing is comparing the inside of ourselves with the outside of someone else. I can tell you from personal experience—the exchange always comes up short.
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:17-19)
Lord, help us to stop comparing ourselves with others so that we can learn to be content with who You created us to be. Your Word tells us that we were created in Your image and You knit us together in our mother’s womb. We are fearfully and wonderfully made. Help us to remember how much we are loved by You— the only One who truly matters. Fill us to the fullest “measure” of Your love. Amen
Thank you for this blog. I have been dealing with anorexia and exercise bulimia since age 14. Do you share any of your experiences with bulimia in your book?
Yes, I do share about my experience with bulimia in both books. Nothing But Your Truth Will Help Me, God! tells about my experience and also how I was able to break free. In my second book, Living in Truth Day by Day, I share even more details through the daily encouragement devotions, although the book is not focused only on my eating disorder. It offers encouragement for women in all areas of life. Both books are available on Amazon. I know how difficult it is to break free from an eating disorder but it is possible. I’m living proof. If you ever need to talk or would like some encouragement, don’t hesitate to contact me. Praying for God’s healing in your life.