By Melody Vanosdol
God is always faithful. I’m still working on it.
Black Friday, 2023 was a major turning point in my marriage. My daughter and her family were visiting. I didn’t understand why, but my husband was in my face and cursing at me. I was desperate to get him to stop behaving like that in front of my grandchildren. Then he swung his fist at my head. Because he is disabled with balance issues, I was able to duck the blow. But that’s not how it looked to my 9-year-old granddaughter. Then he swung his cane, and my daughter started screaming at him. He stopped.
This is not when you want to have a panic attack. But if you’ve ever had a panic attack, you know that you don’t get a lot of choice in the matter.
This incident changed everything. He was never allowed around the kids again, which meant they were never allowed at our house again. I think it would have been easier for me to forgive him if he had been visiting prostitutes nightly.
Worse yet, I was trying to figure out how to have a conversation with my granddaughter on my next visit. I was in my 50’s, living it, leaning hard on God, praying constantly, immersing myself in God’s Word, and I didn’t understand what I was living. The only thing I knew was that God wouldn’t let go of me.
My granddaughter and I are very close. I knew she was going to be asking me questions. I reasoned that if God would give the apostles the words they needed, he would give them to me too. “Whenever you are arrested and brought to trial, do not worry beforehand about what to say. Just say whatever is given you at the time, for it is not you speaking, but the Holy Spirit” (Mark 13:11). So I prayed and trusted Him.
As soon as she and I were alone together the questions came. I did my best to explain that I was spending a lot of time with God. I needed to know what God wanted me to do. I was trying to get Opa (grandpa) help so that he wouldn’t get angry so easily.
With the wisdom of a child, she replied, “It’s not okay.”
All I could say was, “You’re right. It’s not okay.”
And I hated him. I had been angry, hurt, upset, confused, and scared, but I had never had to pray off hate before.
I ran to God. And to some extent, I hid there at his feet.
Sometimes we find ourselves in positions where we’re relatively sure no one else will understand. Whether it’s because we don’t want worldly advice (my personal issue), or any other number of reasons, you can ALWAYS run to God. While you’re there at his feet, ask him who else he is providing for you. I still had my daughter and best friend. I was still in counseling with my pastor.
God will provide for you. He already has. You just might not see it yet. That has always been my experience. Seek the Lord’s provision. He will not let you down.
Trust is faith. Trust God, and seek His provision.
“Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge” (Psalm 62:8).
“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God” (Psalm 20:7).
God is always faithful. I’m still working on it.
Looking for a way to connect with God daily? Check out our daily devotional books: Living in Truth Day by Day *** Living in Truth Mind, Body, Spirit ***