By Alli Bucher
When I was in college, I had my heart set on becoming a ceramicist (a professional artist who makes objects with clay). It was the perfect plan, except it was my plan not God’s plan. While I didn’t become a ceramicist, I did learn a lot about God and myself in the process. Specifically, I learned what it means for God to be the potter and what it means for us humans to be the clay.
Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand (Isaiah 64:8).
I also learned a lot about what it meant to be a vessel of God. The Bible talks about different kinds of vessels and what they were made of. Some were crafted using expensive materials like gold, silver, and alabaster, while others were created using inexpensive materials like clay and wood. Clay (or earthenware) was a common material found in households, and it was used to hold all kinds of things. But earthenware can be fragile, especially before it’s heated in a kiln at very high temperatures, making it a hard ceramic. Even after it’s fired and ready for use, it’s still far more fragile than any metal or wood.
Have you ever taken a moment to stop and think about the kind of vessels God is using to store his greatest treasures?
In 2 Corinthians 4:6-9, Paul explains: For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.
The Potter has placed his treasure in his jars of clay: fragile, common, mundane vessels. God could have chosen a different route. He could have chosen gold or silver vessels, but instead, He chose us – in all of our weakness, fragility, and imperfections – he chose the jars of clay.
As vessels of God, we have a responsibility to take inventory of what we are allowing ourselves to be filled with because what we fill ourselves up with is what flows out of us. If we fill ourselves with the Holy Spirit, the Living Water, and all things good, that is what flows out of us and what we can use to fill others. But if we aren’t intentional about what we’re allowing to take up space in our vessel, we can quickly lose control.
I have personally experienced being a broken vessel. During my first year of college, I struggled with severe anxiety and depression. I avoided leaving the house. I was filled to the brim with sadness, anxiety, bitterness, shame, anger, fear, and frustration. I took every negative emotion and shoved it down and tried to keep going.
During my second year of college, I was barely functioning. I withdrew from school, and after years of shoving every negative emotion down to appear okay, I began to collapse in on myself.
What happens when we shove everything down?
It creates pressure. And ultimately, because we’re human and have weak points, we break. For me, everything I had hidden inside for years came pouring out. It caused a lot of pain in my life, in my personal relationships, and in my relationship with God. I felt completely broken and completely alone.
“His power is made perfect in our weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). As God does, He found worth in my brokenness. He gathered all the pieces and put them back together. This time, I started filling my vessel differently and more carefully because as the scripture said, God chose to give us his treasure, his power in these jars of clay. And we know that when we acknowledge and invite the Holy Spirit to dwell in us, he doesn’t just take up a bit of space – he fills us up. Eventually, we reap the harvest of the fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).
When we’re filled to the brim with those things, it’s more difficult for those negative emotions to take up space. They still exist. They’re still valid. We still feel and experience them; but we don’t allow them to fill us up. That’s why we must regularly take inventory of what we’re harboring on the inside. We have to be aware of what we do with those negative emotions. Do we let them take up space in our vessel? Do we shove them down and let them build up until we break? Or do we consciously and regularly invite the Holy Spirit to fill us up so that there’s hardly any room for anything else?
Remember, what we fill ourselves with could be the very thing that breaks us, BUT it could also be the very thing that brings us and others closer to God.
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