By Tanya Jolliffe
When I was in second grade, I began taking piano lessons. Although my mother was a trained piano teacher, she knew my personality. She decided it best for me to take my classes from a local piano teacher who had taught her many years before.
My mother has near-perfect pitch, and as I struggled to find or remember the flats and sharps, I’m sure the wrong notes grated on her last nerve as she prepared dinner in the kitchen while I practiced after school. After the fourth or fifth time of making the same mistake, she would lovingly suggest I was looking for F sharp or B flat. While there was no condemnation in her voice, that isn’t how I took her words. I would allow the enemy to work on my pride, and I would feel belittled or wrong for making a mistake. Practice is supposed to make you perfect. At least, that was the saying, and perfect was my aim. Each time it was pointed out that I wasn’t perfect, I saw it as a condemnation of my ability and not a correction to my effort.
I assure you then and now, my mother’s tone nor intention was anything more than offering support as I was learning something new. As I have been on the other side of those support situations, I see how others can hear and receive what we say in a different context or tone than offered.
Our feelings deceive us, and the enemy knows how to use them. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines condemnation as pronouncing guilt; to convict, sentence, or doom; to criticize and find fault. When our pride gets in the way, as it did many times when I was practicing the piano and my mother offered some help, we can hear and receive fault-finding and criticism where none was offered.
Scripture has some valuable lessons for us regarding condemnation. The first is from Romans 8:1 (NIV), “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him” (John 3:17 NIV). “If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything” (1 John 3:20 NIV).
The enemy, Satan, is a thief that comes only to steal, kill, and destroy, but Christ came that we might have life and have it to the full (John 10:10 NIV). He accomplishes that by providing conviction instead of condemnation. In John 16:8 ESV, Jesus teaches that “when he [the Holy Spirit] comes, he will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment.” Conviction is about awareness, while condemnation involves guilt and punishment. Conviction helps us grow and change by recognizing an error or wrong choice, while condemnation focuses only on right and wrong and the consequences of an action.
My mother was helping me become a better musician by learning to recognize an error and remember how to keep from repeating it. The enemy wanted to put division in a relationship by causing me to receive the words offered in a different light. While many things in this life are black and white, right and wrong, correct or incorrect, we must learn the difference between words that convict our Spirit and those that are intended to condemn.
Next time the sting of condemnation or hurt pride sets in, take a deep breath, consider the side of conviction, and then ask the Holy Spirit to help you learn from the situation by laying your pride aside. Remember, the enemy wants you to focus on your hurt pride because “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18 NIV). Don’t give the enemy the satisfaction of turning your learning opportunity into condemnation but allow the Spirit to Create in you a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within (Psalm 51:10 NIV).
Looking for a way to connect with God daily? Check out our daily devotional books: Living in Truth Day by Day *** Living in Truth Mind, Body, Spirit
