By Alison Feinauer
I got a text from a trusted source on the last day of my son’s 6th grade year of school. It said, “Did you know that your son has a girlfriend?”
My mama heart had to reread it a few times. My son has told me several times that his friends have girlfriends, but not him. He just hasn’t found anyone pretty enough yet. He even told me once, no one’s as pretty as you mom. Awe!!
When he got home from school, I asked him and he confirmed it was true. It had been a week, and it was “official.”
Honestly, this has consumed me since. I’ve been worrying about texts, facetime, how to train and prepare him. I told him this changes everything and all the rules about his phone.
I’ve been losing sleep and honestly, my joy. I felt like my son’s innocence was gone.
Finally, yesterday, I took some time to be honest with the Lord. I was able to share what my fears really were.
You see, in my 7th grade year, I started down this same path and my innocence was “stolen” from me in a classroom at school. I went from having my “first kiss” to being taught and touched in ways I didn’t know existed, and I didn’t like. But it was by a boy I did like, so I was really confused. I knew it was wrong but didn’t know what to do. My self-worth started coming from being liked by a boy, what we “did” physically, and how I received love. I’ve healed a lot from that but it all took root at that point in time.
I share that with you to tell you, it brought up a fear in me that my son would have the same thing happen to him. It was eating me alive.
When I finally took the time to turn to Jesus and name my fear, it didn’t make it disappear, but it gave me a place to put my trust in and my burdens.
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, with thanksgiving to present every request to God and His peace will guard my heart and mind” (Philippians 6-7).
God also gives us instruction that we have an enemy who is looking to devour and so to be alert. I was very thankful for my friend’s text, that my son was honest, and that as a mom, I can warrior up and start praying and going to battle. God has given us “antennas” so that we can be on guard and fight this spiritual battle. I don’t have to be a victim or a worrier; I’ve been given the tools to stand firm.
“Be alert and of a sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8).
Is there something you are consumed or worried about that is based on a past fear? Can you identify the root and be honest with Jesus? He will walk with you through it. Maybe this worry is your signal to start praying and being alert for the enemy’s schemes. Don’t let him kill, steal and destroy what God is doing in your life.
God, I’m so thankful for the warning signals and wisdom you give us. When we ask for wisdom, you give it freely. Thank you for guiding me as a mom and helping me parent. Please continue to show me where I’m operating out of fear and not trusting you. Help me to be on guard against the enemies plans and to put on the full armor of God. I know that you are faithful to your promises and will give me peace. Thank you for restoring and healing me from my past and brokenness. You are The Father, The Protector, and Emmanuel. You are with me and my son always, even when I’m not, and I’m thankful I can trust you to guide him better than I can. I love you. Amen
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