By Michele Eich
A friend of mine invited me to a Bible study on a Wednesday night. I had every reason in the world to say no, but I said yes, and it changed my life forever.
This was at a time in my life when things were just a tad stressful. My then husband had left, and I found myself raising four children alone. My youngest were 2, 4, and 6. In order to relax, I would go to my job teaching middle school English. Compared to being home with my kiddos, teaching prepositional phrases and subordinating conjunctions to hormonal and dramatic 13-year-olds was a piece of cake.
My days were long, and my nights were short. Every day I just tried to stay afloat physically, mentally, spiritually, and financially. I am not going to sugar coat this. The only way I survived this season of my life was by the grace of God. My babies motivated me to get up every morning and start again. I wanted to quit multiple times, but they needed me.
So back to the Bible study. It was to be held in the garage of a local minister. I took the kiddos over to my mom’s house and rolled up in my messy minivan. I was fashionably late without the fashion. (Mom jeans were NOT cool back then.) I made my usual apologies for not being on time and plopped down on a folding chair.
The person in charge welcomed everyone and then asked us to get quiet before the Lord. It took my mind a long time to stop whirring and spinning. I finally was able to focus, and then the minister said to ask God what He was doing in our lives. This question got me excited. I was about to get some major intel, so I took out an imaginary notepad and pencil and prepared to take copious notes on the answers God was about ready to drop on me. I wanted to know what He was doing about sending Mr. Wonderful into my life. I needed to know how He was going to provide for me as my bills were looming. I wondered if my kiddos were going to be okay with all the turmoil they had to endure. Those were just the starters, but I had many burning questions that needed immediate answers, and this was my big opportunity to get them.
I kept my eyes shut and waited. Nothing. I waited some more. I didn’t even hear crickets. Then it came. The answer to the question: God, what are You doing in my life? was this: Loving you.
At first, I was upset. Seriously? That’s it? Loving you?! I needed much more information than that.
After the initial shock, I realized that this was the most incredible answer that I ever could have gotten. Because God was loving me, I didn’t need to worry about Him bringing someone to love me and my children. Because He was loving me, I did have to be concerned about finances because I had everything I needed for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3). Since my Father was loving me, I didn’t need to fret about the future of my children as promised in Jeremiah 29:11.
The words “Loving you” became so special to me. It is quite amazing how God speaks something so simple, yet it is incredibly profound and life-changing. I knew I could rest and trust the process and give my future over to the One who knows the end from the beginning.
Those two little words kept me going. They gave me hope that God was in control of my situation. I got the assurance I needed in that moment to press on, knowing that everything was going to be alright.
Now looking back two decades later, I am in awe of how God has provided for me. Mr. Wonderful and I just celebrated 17 years of marriage. Our adult children are all in a process with God, and my first granddaughter was born this month. I am reminded that His grace is sufficient, and His power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).
Sometimes I wish I could go back and speak to that younger version of myself. I would give her a big hug and pull the dryer sheet off her back. I would tell her to embrace this crazy season because there will come a day when her kiddos are grown, and she would give anything for just 5 minutes of happy chaos with them all under one roof. She should also be sure to hang onto those mom jeans. Her adult daughters and future Christmas budget will appreciate it.
Beloved, I don’t know what life looks like for you right now, but I do know that we live in a fallen world. Things look a little upside down right now, but that does not change God or His promises for us. Go grab a cup of coffee or hot tea; get your favorite blanket and find a quiet spot. Ask God the question I was encouraged to ask many years ago. Father, what are you doing in my life? I pray that His answer will give you hope and remind you how much He loves you, His precious child.
* Michele Eich is an author, speaker, certified growth coach, licensed minister, and the host of the show, Voices of Recovery. She and her husband, Lynn have six amazing children and several fantastic grandchildren. They enjoy boating, traveling, and going on various adventures with their faithful golden retriever, Sunshine. To learn more about Michele or contact her, please visit www.MicheleEich.com or 20VoicesofRecovery.com. To join her current movement, please visit MamaBearArise.com.
