By Sheree Craig
I often find myself drifting back in the past, thinking about tough times I’ve experienced. A few short years ago, I would feel the exact same emotion, vividly reliving the moment, and the burden would weigh heavy on my shoulders for the day. Each time I relived the past, the wound began to bleed again.
Over the years, I began to face the emotions, place them in God’s hands, and replace them with His Truth. I began to see His presence in that moment in time. I realized I’d never dealt with the emotion. I’d buried it all the past, numbing it with my eating disorder, exercise, alcohol, or any other measure. I realized that I must face these emotions, work through them with God holding my hand and heal. . . finally heal.
Dealing with all the emotion from the past can be overwhelming. Multiple times tears fell as if the event was happening at that very moment. Even still, God asked me to forgive the hurt caused by others. He asked me to pray for those individuals. I can recall the first time I sat to pray for one individual that caused much pain in the past. The emotions welled up inside with great force. I felt sick to my stomach and the only word I could speak was the person’s name. With each conversation to God, it became easier.
Wound by wound, God brought true healing. I still have lingering history that can stir emotion. I have found the hardest person to forgive in my past is me. I needed to forgive the girl in those memories. I needed to forgive her for choosing the path of destruction seeking mere survival. The girl in the past did the best she knew how in that moment to survive floods of emotions.
The same goes for you, dear friend. The same goes for those who hurt you in the past. Human nature seeks to survive. When human nature lives each moment void of God, a high risk for destruction and sin exists. I knew there was a God from my Catholic upbringing; but I sat Him on a shelf and placed His Word far away from my heart. I thought had the answers to survive in life. I thought I did not need help. I gauged success on euphoria. To attain such success, I buried every emotion. I numbed out daily.
My dear friends, hindsight is 20/20 and revealed I was completely wrong. Emotions are good. Emotions allow us to feel, approach the Cross and mature in spirit. Our emotions are valid. God cares about our emotions and can use them for His good. They can become a part of His plan for your life. Allow yourself to feel them and not bury them. Life is not mere survival. God desires for us to truly live.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart (Jeremiah 29:11-13).
The enemy knows the exact tactic to distract us from God’s plan. For me, it was fear of feeling emotion, carrying the burden of making peace and fixing the pain in other’s lives. I carried shame, guilt and self-hatred day by day. My thoughts replayed, “You are a failure.” I never felt worthy enough to carry out God’s plan. I controlled emotions by numbing them. I focused solely on making everything in my surroundings perfect to avoid facing the storm just in the distance.
Face the storm, dear friends. But don’t face it alone. Drown your thoughts with His Truth. Reach out to a trusted friend as you heal all emotions buried deep inside. You are worth healing. You are worth living your life. God has mighty plans and purpose for you. He will use every emotion from the past and bless those placed in your path. Trust Him. Ask Him into your moment. Feel your emotion as He comforts, loves and guides your heart to healing. You are beautiful, dear friend, and you are worth joy.
