By Lindsey Jones
Tonight was a night I will always remember. I was a drag racer’s girlfriend for many years. That was until 3 years ago when I went to a women’s conference. It was a two-day conference. At the end of the first night they opened the altar for prayer. I was still new in my walk with the Lord, but I knew I needed change in my life. So, I went up and asked for prayer.
I asked for the Lord to hit me upside the head with a neon sign to help me see what he wanted me to do with my life. I was an infant teacher at the time, and in my heart, I knew I wanted to do ministry work. The next day of the conference during the last song, I got this overwhelming peace that came over my entire body. I raised my hands. Right then and there, I felt the Lord speak to me very clearly, for the first time. But it was not something I wanted to hear at all. The Lord spoke to my spirit and said I needed to leave my situation. Then I saw an image of my ex standing next to me. I was beside myself. I told the Lord, “I’m sorry Lord, no can do. I love him; he loves me; we are going to get married; everything is okay. I am not going to leave.”
One thing I have learned is, when the Lord tells you something He will win one way or another. Needless to say, he won that battle. Leaving my ex was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my entire life. I loved him so much, and I just wanted to be happy. I wanted so badly to have a family and live happily ever after. Deuteronomy 5:9 says, “You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the LORD your God am a jealous God.”
So many times, we find ourselves in relationships that are unequally yoked, but because we are blinded by love, we brush it off and tell ourselves, “its ok, I can change him.” But most of the time, it is us that changes because we want love so badly. We forget how much we are loved by the one who created us.
Even though leaving was one of the hardest things I could have ever done, I can’t imagine my life if I would have stayed. Nothing has happened the way that I thought it would. I ended up in ministry work. Which was the main reason I went up for prayer that night, but it was not as I had planned. I lost weight. But the start of that was because after I left, I went weeks when I couldn’t bring myself to eat a full meal. I went on dates, but nothing was filing this hole that I had inside of me.
We serve a jealous God yes, but He is jealous because He loves us so much and He wants every part of us. Not just a piece here and there. He wants to be the one to hold our hand when we are scared, to wipe out tears when we are sad, to capture our smiles when we are laughing uncontrollably. He wants to be there for it all and know that He has all of us.
During these past three years, I have learned that “my plan” well, it stank. I don’t know the end of my story, but He does. I am so grateful that I have Him along on journey with me to make my path straight and point me back to Him when I feel alone.
Tonight truly was an amazing night. I finally, after so many years, made it back to the track with a very dear friend of mine. She asked me to come, and I was all about it. I always enjoyed going, hearing the roar of the cars, smelling the fuel. You could just feel the adrenaline of the drivers as they went down the track. But as I was on my way there, my heart started racing. What if I see him? What if he hates me? I had only seen him twice since that day. I began to pray. I prayed harder than I had prayed in a little while, and then that same peace came over me again. As I was praying that very same song that was being played when the Lord spoke to me at that conference popped into my head. The Lord told me I was there to “Break Every Chain,” that it was time to truly be set free. I am so incredibly grateful for tonight. I know even though I am still single, I am not alone. My prince will come, but until then, I am grateful to be in the arms of my King.
I am going to lean into this promise tonight, and I am going to trust that no matter what, He’s got me. “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).
