By Kimberly Davidson
“I’ve got a sort of idea,” said Pooh, “but I don’t suppose it’s a very good one.” “Probably not,” said Eeyore (Winnie-the-Pooh by A. A. Wilne).
We’re familiar with it—rejection. Someone important to us, through either control or lack of social or parental skills implies, “You’re not good enough; smart enough—you’re not adequate.”
Being brought up by a controlling father, I experienced issues with separation, autonomy and individuation—becoming my own person. I received a bag of mixed messages, “Listen to me only and do what I say,” “I love you and will support you any way I can,” “You can’t separate from me, but you can’t get too close either.”
Dad always won. I’d return to him repeatedly for support for the very problems that began with him. Consequently, I never really knew Kimberly, the person God created me to be. I only knew the “ideal Kimberly”—the young woman who sought to be accepted, loved and good enough.
To move forward and grow I needed to grieve the death of the ideal Kimberly, which the Bible calls the “old self.” She was a phony. After saying good-bye and letting go of her, with the help of the Spirit, I needed to learn to “put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:24). In time, God and His people helped me become my real self. The butterfly emerged from her cocoon.
When Michelangelo was asked how he created a sculpture, he said the statue already existed within the marble, giving God credit for creating his work. He believed his job was to get rid of the excess marble that surrounded God’s creation. So, it is with us. Our job is to allow the Holy Spirit to remove all toxic thinking and false beliefs that surrounds our perfect selves.
How cool is it that the same God that created mountains and oceans and galaxies looked at you and thought the world needed one of you too.” ~Unknown
God created us to shine! (Genesis 1:27-28; 31) We have been set apart to do great things. You wear a spiritual label, “Handmade by the Lord.” What you already are is adequate to meet your needs and any crisis you may confront. Baruch Spinoza once said, “The greatest pride, or the greatest despondency, is the greatest ignorance of one’s self.”
Colossians 3:12 states, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” God is telling us to do something. Just like a painter puts color on her canvass, God wants you to clothe yourself with His characteristics.
First, we need to learn to be compassionate, kind, humble, gentle and patient with ourselves—then we can connect and pour it out onto others. It’s the answer to beginning to feel alive again.
