By Kelsey Klepper
Anyone else into New Year resolutions? Maybe you call them New Year goals? They might be personal goals, family oriented goals, or work goals.
I totally have my hand up on this one. I love being intentional with the start of a new year. It feels exciting to plan for the upcoming year and the growth and change I want to happen.
I do remember the many, many years I had a New Year resolution for weight loss or changing my body. In the past several years those resolutions have molded into more than my physical appearance. (Thank you, Jesus!) They may be specific regarding my faith journey, being more intentional with time with my husband, or my overall health. I honestly could not even tell you what my list of goals were at the start of 2019. I did say I like starting the new year with intention, but my follow through isn’t always there.
As I’m reflecting more on my 2019, I have, like most, my highs and lows. I had my sweet baby girl in February, took over my local farmers market, found a new passion for tending to house plants, went on a wonderful vacation to the mountains with just my husband, celebrated my 30th birthday and 5 years of marriage, and laughed a ton at my toddler’s quirky sayings and dance moves.
Speaking of dancing, I’ve danced more this past year than ever before (mostly to “Ghostbusters”, “Peanut Butter Jelly Time”, “I Like to Move It”, and “Cotton Eyed Joe.” (Thank you to my son Jack for that.) I also felt some major relief from depression and anxiety that hit me hard during and after my pregnancy with Ruthie. 2019 started off as an emotional roller coaster, leveled off a bit, and now seems to have lots of ebbs and flows. I lost my grandpa within days of being diagnosed with cancer, and my grandma is gradually fading from the nasty disease called Alzheimers. I’ve struggled more this past year with my body-image than I have in the past three years. My husband and I continue to lack a core group of friends since moving back, and I’m still learning to cope with my anxiety.
But shoot, my life is good, friends. Even if I didn’t have all of those highs and only had the lows, it would still be good. I know Jesus above all else. He’s been placing a specific word on my heart more lately than ever before: contentment. Becoming a mama and staying at home with my babes has rocked my identity. I know that much of my mental struggle is the enemy keeping me from feeling content and at peace in my current season. I know this in my head but haven’t totally given it to God.
As I go into this new year, my goal is simply focusing on Jesus more, and all the other dreams/goals/resolutions less. It doesn’t mean I’m stagnant and can’t want to pursue growth. It does mean feeling content right now in Him rather than striving for more to feel contentment. Contentment needs to be learned and this is how I will grow in 2020. Grow deeper with Jesus. Bring Him my lack of peace. Bring Him my worries. Bring Him my brokenness every single day.
“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:11-13).
