By Alison Feinauer
Have you had something you hoped would go away on it’s own, with a little time and a little ignoring? It could be a bad image of something, maybe a little lie, maybe a secret about bankruptcy or bed bugs or lice, maybe a relapse of an addiction… You know, those things that have happened to us or we’ve discounted as small, maybe out of our control or not, but have the potential to rob us of joy or put a cloud of shame over us.
My son recently asked how to get something bad out of his head. He’s 8. First, I prayed. He replied, “I’ve done that and it didn’t help.” I asked what he wanted to get out of his head. He didn’t want to tell me.
I felt prompted to talk about how Satan, our enemy, uses thoughts and secrets to hold us hostage and isolate us. Secrets put shame on us, and when we keep them in, they have power over us to grow, and that’s what the enemy wants. The lie from the enemy is that no one will like us after we share them, or that they aren’t that big of a deal, so we keep them in. I told him that in the Bible we are encouraged to confess stuff and the Lord’s grace covers and forgives, if needed.
I told him that secrets lose their power, if we share them.
My son proceeded to tell me, after a few hours, about something that happened in his class a year ago. A friend ask him to do something that was inappropriate (he told me the details). He didn’t do it, but it’s been eating at him, for a year. It broke my heart. But after he shared and released the anger he had for this kid, he looked free, joy-filled, light again. It was beautiful. And sad for me that it had taken so long.
I too have experienced the shame of secrets. I dealt with a secret sin, and it paralyzed me for years. It literally made me sick. It was awful. Satan was having a field day with me.
After a bit, I felt the prompting to share with a friend and repent to the person I had wronged. It lost the power. It’s the fear of rejection and the compromise of our identity that can creep in. I heard one time, if you share something 3 times, it frees you.
Maybe you’ve experienced the shame of secrecy with your Eating Disorder or a relapse. Find a trusted friend, or your support group, or even email me. Just share it. Get it out! The enemy would love for you to be stuck and discouraged and feel alone. Share it!
Father, Thank you that there is freedom in you, in confession and in allowing ourselves to be open, real, and naked before you. Please give give us strength and power to walk out confession. We cry to you for mercy and guidance in conversations you are prompting us to have. Give us courage and hope in the midst of our secrets. You know everything. Thank you for loving us no matter what. Help us to be humble enough to open up. Maybe our vulnerability can help heal someone else. We want to be free, know our identity is in you, and trust you deeply.
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (John 1:9).
The power of the life and death is in the tongue (Proverbs 18:21)!
