By Rae Lynn DeAngelis
“If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other” (Galatians 5:15).
Our home is nestled in the woods among towering trees. Because of the slope in our backyard, the deck is practically eye level with many of our tree tops. It is not unusual to see squirrels scampering up and down the trees, skipping from one branch to another.
One particular afternoon while sitting on the back deck, I watched two squirrels playing a game of chase. What appeared to be fun and games quickly turned ugly. The rodents began a rowdy scuffle, apparently fighting for the territory rights of a particular tree.
As the chase ensued, they bounded from one tree limb to the next until the fight commenced on the edge of a branch no thicker than my thumb. With shrieks and squeals, the two wrestled high above the wooded floor. All at once the branch gave way, sending both varmints plummeting towards the ground sixty feet below. I watched in horror, certain that the squirrels had met their demise.
Sometimes in life we can find ourselves in a similar predicament. Relationships that were once thriving and strong grow cold and distant over time. Miscommunication and misunderstanding are often the offenders behind conflict and heartache.
“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it” (James 4:1-2).
God provides instructions for settling conflict in our lives, and it always involves face-to-face communication.
“If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you” (Matthew 18:15a).
Sadly, in this technological age, many choose less confrontational methods for resolving conflict, such as sending an email or text message. These superficial forms of communication can be a problem when they are interpreted by the reader in ways the writer never intended. As a result, the reader’s misinterpretation often will cause more damage than good.
“Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell” (James 3:5-6).
We need to settle matters in a God honoring manner. We must learn to share what’s on our mind in a truthful, loving way—face-to-face and heart-to-heart.
“[Paul and Barnabas] had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas and left, commended by the believers to the grace of the Lord” (Acts 15:39-40).
Like it was with Paul and Barnabas the end result may be a parting of ways, but don’t assume this is God’s will every time. God’s specialty is restoration. He can work miracles through individuals who are truly committed to honoring Him in all they do.
“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13).
Perhaps you’re wondering what happened to the fighting squirrels. At first they laid still on the ground. Didn’t move a muscle. I assumed they were dead. But after several moments, the squirrels jumped up and took off running as if nothing had ever happened.
Hmmm… Maybe there’s hope for our conflicts yet!
