By Susan Wilson
Psalm 139:13-14 (The Message) “Oh yes, You shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation!”
Every year, my husband and I go to a conference for pastors and their wives of churches over 1,000. While the men are networking and sharing, the ladies also meet together and share what’s happening in the churches, as well as what’s new in their own lives.
A couple years ago at this conference, several of the ladies were expressing their trepidation in attending the conference as they were unsure what a “mega church pastor’s wife” was supposed to be like. It suddenly became so clear to me that women, no matter who they are, have common fears—fears of not measuring up, of being thought “not worthy”, of being singled out as “weird”.
I went back to my hotel room that day and as I continued to think about the feelings I had felt, God planted a poem in my head. I wrote it out and shared it with the women at that conference the next day.
Since then, I have seen that it relates to women on all levels and in all kinds of groups. Hopefully, as you see yourself in the lines of this poem, you will also see your own worth in the eyes of your Father.
Life isn’t fair, or so they say, and I suppose it’s true. After all, I don’t know why I can’t be built like you.
This isn’t how it’s supposed to be; my plans have gone awry. I signed up for the life you have, while mine just makes me sigh.
You are so together, girl, how do you do it all? You always stay on top of things; you make me feel so small.
You seem to have a plan in mind, and things fall into place. My plans keep slipping out the door, and slamming in my face.
I’ve tried to copy what you do, but it’s to no avail. Success for you, but not for me, it seems I’m doomed to fail.
These, the thoughts that plagued my mind and worried at my soul. Until one day I understood the folly of my goal.
I am not you! Ah—there’s a thought! And neither are you me! My gifts aren’t yours and yours aren’t mine—at last I think I see!
You look like you and that’s okay; I’m me in my own way. I’m made to be just who I am, with my own words to say.
It’s God who made us who we are, and He who leads our paths. He knows just where our feet should fall and if we need decaf!
He didn’t send us here to lead a happy life. He didn’t say, “Be just like her and you’ll be free from strife.”
We’re all quite different as our lives have surely testified. And all He asks is that our living shows Him glorified.
~Ladies’ Room Lament by Susan Wilson
