By Rae Lynn DeAngelis
In my last post I talked about the pandemic of loneliness infiltrating our society and how, to some degree, our quest for convenience is aiding and embedding the problem. Many day to day transactions can be carried out having little or no interface with a living breathing human being.
It’s true that our world is changing, but we need to make sure our basic God-given needs are not getting kicked to the curb in the face of progress. If we’re not careful, we just might cultivate a society that’s emotionally, spiritually, and relationally desolate.
Some say we are already there.
I don’t profess to have all the answers. I’m just someone who’s feeling lonelier by the minute and decided to start investigating what might be contributing to my deficit.
Some parts of my life create solitude and I have little control over the fact. For instance, my husband travels a lot for his job. He can be gone for several days at a time. This wasn’t a factor when our kids were at home, but now that our kids are grown, the emptiness in my spirit each time Gerry gets on a plane is becoming more and more prominent.
My main job (managing a non-profit organization) requires me to spend many hours in solitude. This doesn’t help my situation. Many would say that I have a lot of friends (and, depending on your definition, that might be true), but I’m still fighting overwhelming feelings of sadness.
I feel disconnected.
I spend hours each day with God, so it’s not a lack of connection with Him. God’s promises are true. He is always with me and I wholeheartedly believe that. “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:8)
I’m not feeling disconnected from God. I’m feeling disconnected from people.
“The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18)
When God made this proclamation, Adam already had a deep, abiding connection with God. Since God created us, He understands our need for human connection. He knew from the beginning that we would need someone with skin.
Although our culture is more connected in a literal sense (cell phones, email, Twitter, Facebook) we are less connected in a spiritual sense.
What the spirit truly needs is face to face and heart to heart interaction.
No matter how many parenthesis you put around a cyber-hug (((((hug))))) it’s still just a word typed across a computer screen.
No matter how lovingly we try to construct a sentence with just the right sentiment or emotion, written words will never completely fill the deficit in our soul.
God created us to need physical touch and face to face communication. We need spoken words accompanied by body language, physical touch, or a warm embrace. Counterfeit replacements might pacify us for a while, but eventually we all feel the void.
Although loneliness has reached epidemic proportions, the cure is easier than we might think.
We can make a conscious effort to spend more “facetime” with our friends. (In person, over coffee, sharing a meal, or taking a walk, not through an app on our mobile device.)
Let’s be more proactive about getting together in a literal sense. Be sure to schedule times of rich fellowship, laughter, and even a few hugs and tears, doing life together, not apart.
No, it’s not necessary to close up our Facebook accounts or throw away cell phones. But perhaps we would all benefit from spending a little less time with the counterfeit so that we have more time for the real thing.
“There was a man all alone;
he had neither son nor brother.
There was no end to his toil,
yet his eyes were not content with his wealth.
“For whom am I toiling,” he asked,
“and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?”
This too is meaningless—
a miserable business!
Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.” (Ecclesiastes 4:8-10)
