Rhonda's Recovery Journey

“The footprints we leave behind show clearly where we have been, but they do not dictate where we can now go.” ~Ralph Martson

Week 9

8/11: Galatians 5:1 and Isaiah 55:11 have been working in my heart today. I’m a little concerned because, when glanced in the mirror, my face looked thinner. Am I losing weight or is it my imagination? The only time I get weighed is at the doc’s office so I will just continue eating new foods and more of them and keep working on exercise. I went to an outdoor concert tonight and saw an attractive and toned woman delighting in a scrumptious hamburger. I gazed on and wondered what it would be like to be able to eat unattached from any disordered thinking. This freedom would not be taken for granted.

8/12: I feel so guilty for continuing to exercise more than I should. I took the guilty feeling for a walk and over-exercised. Now I know why God laid those two verses on my heart yesterday. I fell because I did not prepare for battle.

8/13: Went to hear the “Talleys” and ate nacho Bugles again with my Subway sandwich. The Spirit truly touched my heart with some of their songs. I needed this.

8/14: I’ve had the feeling that I’m falling back on this journey, that I’m no further than before I began on it. It’s a fearful feeling. The thing is, I haven’t slipped back, but this feeling is so overwhelming. I prayed to God for relief because I just want it to go away. I forfeited yogurt at lunch and ate a sugar-free ice cream sandwich instead. I didn’t feel guilty and it satisfied my sweet tooth. Only walked 2 miles tonight and I feel at peace with today’s subtle changes.

8/15: No yogurt or pudding with breakfast. It was easier than anticipated. Today has been a total washout, so I decided to pick beans barefoot in the garden. I ended up drenched but enjoyed every minute of it. I got to spend the afternoon with Raelynn helping her get things together for support groups. You wouldn’t believe the immense amount of time and work she puts into Living In Truth! Her life has been dedicated to God’s work for as long as I’ve known her. There is nothing more fulfilling than being around other’s who have a passion for God. If this passion was contagious, people would be paying high prices to contract it!

8/16: Exercise compulsion keeps visiting me during study and prayer. I find it very hard to stay focused. It’s annoying me to death! I resisted it and made it through.

To read Rhonda’s backstory, click here.