12/14: This morning the Spirit urged me to go to the place my pastor and his wife purchased. When I showed up, the pastor and another man were unloading chairs for the grief share group meeting tonight, so I hopped out of my car and got to work. The pastor’s wife showed up, and we got the job done. After the men left, Carla and I did some set-up and pick-up. It was a fulfilling time.

Went to my appointment at the gastro doctor, but I ran into a problem. The receptionist looked up my insurance and said they are out-of-network. Great, now I have to find someone else. I was hoping to get a colonoscopy or something else to see what’s wrong with my stomach and other complications.

Came home and baked some cookies for the grief meeting. The meeting went great, and I could see this time of group sharing helped many people in the grieving stage.

12/15: Mom got off work early, so dad and I picked her up and went shopping in Florence. I spent almost the entire time helping her pick out gifts for people on her Christmas list. I have a nose for good buys.

The boots I wore weren’t made for walkin’! I was so relieved to kick them off in the car. I was so tired I could barely hold my head up to eat dinner. I even fell asleep in Bible study.

12/16: Well, I got my “new” used car all cleaned up and ready to sell. It’s a beauty, but it’s a gas hog and insurance is high. I’m going to have to find something that is small and great on gas.

12/18: Severely depressed! And that’s all she wrote.

12/19: Blood sugar is back to normal, and I’m feeling better. I get “diabetes burnout” every once in a while. It’s a tiring disease physically and mentally.

I’m irritated with the nursing home where I did the program today. They lack in many areas and it affects everything about the facility. I feel sorry for the residents. It also put a kink in my program time. Oh well, getting irritated won’t change things.

I’m still walking through a spiritual wilderness. I know God sees and hears my cries for a thirst and burning desire for Him. I just continue to stay in study and prayer and wait patiently. I know He is burning away the dross that is still in my life. My prayer from the very beginning was that He would make me so miserable when I am disobedient that I can’t stand it. It’s working—no—He’s working.