Rhonda's Recovery Journey

“The footprints we leave behind show clearly where we have been, but they do not dictate where we can now go.” ~Ralph Martson

Week 61

8/10: Got to spend some time with a woman from church and eat lunch together. My dentist appointment went better than expected. He filled in some spots with resin and took an x-ray of a chipped tooth. It’s not a cavity. He patched it and sent me on my way. I’m so relieved!

8/11: I continue to eat pudding, which is of little nutritional value. I’m having a strong call to turn away from it, but I haven’t yet. It makes me so depressed and irritated that I’m so addicted to this. The Spirit showed me something tonight in study.

He opened my eyes to a topic on the fragrance of Christ. It excited me so much.

8/13: I’m not myself today. I’m cranky and extremely tired.

Somehow, I got selected to lead the women’s Sunday school worship song.

I’ve been without antidepressant/antianxiety medication for almost a week now due to doctor and insurance complications. It could just be in my head, but I think I’m starting to feel the effects of not having it.

On the way home from church I saw a bible in the middle of the road with papers flying everywhere. I told mom to turn around so we could retrieve it. The guy mowing grass where the bible was didn’t even bother to get it out of the road. I ran through the grass down the street and got it. As I was sifting through the pages to find the owner’s name a paper fell out into my hand. It was a salvation tract from our church. At about the same time I heard a man yelling, “Ma’am, ma’am.” It was the guy mowing grass. He was chasing me down to hand me a piece of paper that had blown out of the bible. I handed him the tract and said, “This was meant for you.” Out of all of the papers in that bible the one that fell right into my hand was truly a love note from God to this gentleman. Awesome!!!

8/15: I decided to wait until I got to work to eat lunch. I didn’t start until 12PM and wanted to try a change and eat in different surroundings. It went very well. Had a great time at the assisted living facility too. I even had three new attendees. Dad was kind enough to meet me there and meet Patty and answer her bible questions. He said she talked about her family and such. She has several brothers and sisters who live in the area and never come to see her. She got physical therapy at another facility and met a woman who began visiting her often and even having her over for a meal here and there. It sounds like the woman treated her good. Then Patty said the woman stopped coming about 8 months ago, and she hasn’t heard from this woman since. This breaks my heart. God saw this woman’s need and used me to fill the void. I feel so honored that God would choose to use me. He knows when His children are hurting. This opens my eyes even more to the love of God. It’s overflowing!

8/16: Had to be at work early for a staff meeting. Breakfast was provided by our pep squad. I actually desired to eat breakfast there. I ate an egg when I woke up to hold me over. I was so happy to be able to eat with the entire staff from two libraries. The four of us in outreach department each had to get up and explain our job and vision. I was chosen to go first. I was amazingly calm and excited to share. Let me tell you; this alone is a miracle from God because it wasn’t long ago that I was so sick and malnourished that I couldn’t even put thoughts together enough to speak a full sentence! It “flustrated” me to no end. God gave me the power to talk clearly and fluently at this meeting. I am a walking testimony of God’s power. Praise Him!!!

I began studying the tabernacle tonight. I had so many questions, so dad and I ended up in a long discussion. It’s complicated and awesome to learn about all of the aspects surrounding the tabernacle. I never dreamed there would be a day when I’d be studying more than exercising. Never.

To read Rhonda’s backstory, click here.