Rhonda's Recovery Journey

“The footprints we leave behind show clearly where we have been, but they do not dictate where we can now go.” ~Ralph Martson

Week 52 & 53

6/8: Today is my one year anniversary. A whole year has passed since God spoke to my heart and set me on this journey. I took time to look back. God has grown me in every way, especially in faith. I continue to dig into scripture and spend time in prayer. Spent the afternoon with Raelynn. We ate by the river and then strolled through town to find some quaint shops. It was a great day. I baked a sugar-free vanilla cake for myself. An anniversary like this requires treats!

6/9: Picked up Ava today. I took her to the park, but she didn’t even want to play. She acted tired and cranky all evening. Amanda said that Ava wasn’t feeling well yesterday, so she kept her from going to the babysitter’s house. I was ready to get her home by the time the day was over!

6/10: Mom and I went to yard sales this morning. I also stopped by the library and picked up a book mom ordered. I couldn’t resist leaving without getting a book. I quickly walked around the new release rack and picked up a book entitled, “Escaped With Honor.” William Layton reveals his life story and his time spent in the military while being captured by the North Koreans. I got halfway done.

6/11: After church and lunch I settled in a chair in the shade and finished my book. It was very good. I usually don’t pick books like this, but by the time I got to the end, I knew it was the Holy Spirit that drew me to it. The very end of the book spoke loudly to me. I didn’t even know this book had anything to do with God when I chose it. Turns out, God proves Himself in this man’s life without the man even being aware. I highly recommend this book!

6/13: I got the opportunity to acquaint myself more with some of the library staff. I’m working on July programming. I am so thankful to God for the freedoms we have in America. I did a lengthy study on “favor” as shown in the Bible and also on prayers lifted up as an incense unto God. How fulfilling it is to learn more about God. I know that if I continue in the Word, my relationship with Him will become so intimate that I will come to the point of full freedom, full sacrifice of my will, and full joy. I long so earnestly for the day that I give up myself and place my sinful desires in His hands.

6/14: I’m very frustrated about my eating situation. I take measures to get pudding and yogurt out of my path and then turn right back to them again. I don’t know. Why can’t I resist forever? My craving is so powerful. I continue to ask God to take away my desire for it and to make me want to fill that craving with something I’m not addicted to. I want that zeal, passion and excitement to be, well, like I had when I first started this journey! I want to want change more than I want a place of complacency!!! A stagnant life is not God’s plan for my life.

Went to Goodwill and bought 3 pairs of pants and 2 pairs of dress/casual shoes for work. All for $13!! I really needed clothes and shoes for work!

6/15: Highlight of the day: the new Dollar Tree opened.

In my opinion, it’s the best around! Got most of the weed eating done, read and worked in the yard. Went to hear a free music concert in town. Their vocals and instrumentals were great. I love to watch older people bounce around and dance. It’s a delight to see people twist and shout at that age!

Someone almost hit me on the way home. I’m glad my brakes worked. Some people need to go back to driver’s ed and learn who has the right-of-way at intersections.

Cruised the neighborhood to see if I could find any trash that I could refurb. No luck.

6/16: I went to what was advertised as a huge multi-family moving sale. I traveled further than I usually would just because of all the stuff they advertised for sale. Among one was a truck. My car is still chugging along, but it doesn’t hurt to be on the lookout. I was left disappointed. They had close to nil. False advertisement. The other sales were a flop too.

I got hungry earlier than usual so I ate a snack at 9:30. I really didn’t want to, but I was starving. I felt guilty even before I started eating, but I was so glad I did. I needed fuel in my body. The guilt left as soon as I began eating.

6/17: Spent the morning with mom. I stopped by the library to drop off and check out more books.

We decided to go to the Riverboat Regatta. The races didn’t start until later so we left and went to some stores.

I haven’t had any desire to exercise lately. I started on Lexapro again about 2 months ago. The doctor said it would help with compulsions and anxiety. I decided to go back on the anti-depressant because I think I need it. I have stopped taking it before in the hopes that I could do without it. I have nothing against meds, I just don’t want to take a pill if I don’t need it. After abstaining from Lexapro for a year, I know I need it.

6/18: We had a guest preacher this morning. I really enjoyed his sermon. He added bits of witty humor and delivered a very meaningful Father’s Day sermon. One of my greatest desires is to see my dad on fire and serving God. I just continue to pray that God will kindle a flame in his heart. It may take a long time, but I believe God will change him. Some men don’t realize the vital part they play within the family structure. I expressed a desire for our family to sit and eat together at dinner, so we’ll see how it goes. I’m a little apprehensive because this is way out of my comfort zone. I’m not accustomed to having meals together and talking at the table. I have felt compelled to take this step for a long time.

6/19: I got together some more of the July program at work. I’d love to get the military involved somehow, but need to think more about what they could do. I’m miserable with an extremely bloated stomach. It began last week and it’s getting worse. I think it might have been the corn-on-the-cob I ate. It could just be a non-related irritable bowel flare up. I took Tylenol and it helped quite a bit.

Mom and I ate dinner together and it went well. It’s so nice sharing together. Dad was out weed eating, so he ate later. After quiet time, mom and I took a cruise to see if we could find “garbage” that I could refurb and sell. Nothing.

6/20: My program went smoothly today.

Mom and I had dinner again together. Dad ate elsewhere. Maybe he didn’t hear me the other night when I said I wanted us to all eat together.

Decided to do a weigh in today. My weight is still increasing. I love to see the continual increase, but this bloated stomach is not helping my appearance. I’m looking like the Grinch again. My body is thin, my back is arched (arched back and straight broad shoulders is a Stinson trait), and my stomach is protruding like a pregnant woman holding twins. Stomach problems also run on the Stinson side. “Pass it on down the line” is our new family motto.

6/21: Visited the Creation Station today. I needed some items for a project I want to do for the seniors in our library programs. It’s a great place for a non-profit organization to get free craft goods. These items are acquired through donations and many of the items would be thrown out. Now I know where I can take my coffee cans, toilet roll holders, and yogurt canisters. It’s so much better recycling than trashing.

Ate with mom again, and eating is good.

To read Rhonda’s backstory, click here.