Rhonda's Recovery Journey

“The footprints we leave behind show clearly where we have been, but they do not dictate where we can now go.” ~Ralph Martson

Week 46

4/27: Met with the dietician today. The meal plan layout didn’t scare me at all. I’m getting more calories from what I’ve been eating than what she gave me. She did put a + by each carb, fat, and meat which means I can go over this amount, just not less.

I’ve had no appetite today. I feel completely full.

I’m still trying to get Rx’s.

Went to PAWS to help out again. I did the itemizing and pricing on a section of items and called it a day. I usually spend the majority of the day helping, but I’m just not up to it.

Tonight I couldn’t focus in study, so I prayed first. I prayed to God with the image of the Samaritan woman. I pictured myself in her shoes touching the hem of Jesus’ garment and being healed because of her faith. When I raised my head there in front of me was the story of this exact account. The Spirit has a special way of comforting and speaking. It was a beautiful time tonight.

4/28: I’m feeling so bad. Numbness in my feet, hands, and face has set in. What in the world?? My endocrine doc and family doc don’t work on Fridays and I’m not going to the ER! My arm is still aching from the nurse who poked the needle through my vein Monday and backed it out. I have a bruise all the way to my elbow. The nurse practitioner who thought I was low on Vitamin B was wrong. I picked up a copy of my lab work she did. My Vitamin B level is above normal. I’ve just about had it with anything medical.

Got all of the grass mowed today because rain is setting in for the weekend. I still have no appetite at all.

4/29: Mom and I went to the rummage sale and then grocery shopping. I just tagged along because I really didn’t feel like looking. There is so much pressure in my head that it feels like it’s going to explode.

Carmen called to see if I wanted to bum around with her today. How I wish I felt like it! At lunch, mom asked what was wrong and I burst into tears while I expressed to her how much I just want to feel good. If I could just for one day be fully free of all sickness and disease. What would it be like? It’s hard to imagine something you’ve never experienced, but I know it would be amazing.

4/30: I didn’t get to go to choir or church tonight because of this infection. Dad supplied me with 3 different nasal/sinus sprays and washes to choose from. One of them helped tremendously. My head is depressurized. Ahhh, what relief.

5/1: Worked on programs for tomorrow. I’m nervous about my first time doing it alone. I treasure these times because it is in these times that I grow in faith. Dr. C’s office called to schedule me this week because of my declining health. Another $200. Praying God will give him the wisdom to find out what’s going on.

Got to help put together raffle tickets for Fashion Show. It will be a fun-filled night!

Got a scare tonight concerning the well- being of my family members. Thankfully, God brought them home safely. I can’t even imagine the grief and pain a family would experience in finding out a loved one has died in an accident. So grateful this was not the case tonight!

5/2: I did my first program at Ridgewood Health Campus today. It went smoothly. As a dedication to Mother’s Day, I included a beautiful scripture, Proverbs 31. They really enjoyed the program. I owe this all to God. There’s no way I’d even have this job without his hand of giving. I just love these people!

Got some more June programming done when I got back.

This sinus/respiratory infection isn’t getting better. It’s draining my energy. Thankfully my appetite is still good. I ate a serving of fries with dinner. Delicious.

5/3: Met with Dr. C. this morning. The weigh in was promising. He was thrilled that I’d gained this weight. After looking at previous lab work and questioning me, he said it looks like my body is trying to find a new sense of normal. A place of stability with the blood sugar and nourishment. My body got normalized to high glucose and when I stopped using the pump and began to give manual shots, my sugar became regulated. He said my blood work is improving (except liver enzyme), and he believes it will continue to improve as my body adapts to regulated blood sugar and proper nutrition. If it doesn’t, he will have to examine other possible causes of my problems.

Did mowing and weed eating. More rain coming. I caught myself choosing “safer” foods at dinner. It scared me because it crept in so quietly. This choice, seemingly so small, is that exact one I’ve made over and over through the years. The choice to stay stuck. I’m not going to get stuck again. I don’t long for a life “circular” living. It leads nowhere. I want a life that moves in an infinite linear direction. A life of anticipation, hope and faith in following God’s plan, His direction.

To read Rhonda’s backstory, click here.