2/23: I felt better this morning but started feeling severely nauseated at work. When I got home, I still had the smell of the gravy from work up my nose and dried mashed potatoes on my shirt. Just looking at food makes me sick. I’ve been drinking tons of water which should help relieve the leg cramps I’ve been getting. I hope this all ends soon. I just want to feel good again. I haven’t felt like doing any study or prayer, but I do it anyway because I absolutely know that if I let it slip by one day I’ll lose foothold on recovery. It’s 20x harder to eat right when I’m sick, but God is giving me the strength to do it. When I get my appetite back, this eating thing will seem like a piece of cake. Maybe I’ll eat a piece of cake and celebrate.
2/24: The constant nausea is finally going away. I feel much better today. I began taking flax oil. Just one tablespoon has 13g of fat, but I know I need it. I dosed 2x today and it didn’t bother me a bit.
The library is going to call next week to schedule me for an interview. This job would be a growing experience for me. I have a creative side to me that longs to break out, but as of yet, I have not found where my niche is.
My doc prescribed a med for leg cramps and I finally got a restful night of sleep. I’m full of life today!
2/25: Yesterday I was in shorts and a t-shirt. Today I’m bundled in winter wear. Crazy temperatures!
I began eating bananas today. I’ve never been a big fan of bananas, but that’s not why I stopped eating them many years ago. For some reason, bananas were a fear food for me. Some foods that I really do not like are jicama, grapefruit, avocados, and brussel sprouts.
Added a slice of swiss cheese to one of my snacks.
I’m excited about visiting a different church tomorrow. It’s a long drive, but hopefully it will be worth it.
2/26: It has been a long and exciting day. Mom, dad, and I visited another church that I’ve been to several times in the past. Every time I’ve gone, I sense a drawing to do. It stirs something within me. The women’s small group was a wonderful time of learning and the service equally so.
I bumped into a family that I used to go to church with. They’ve been members at FBC for 3 years. It’s amazing the excitement I have when I sit down and delve into the small group workbook by James MacDonald.
2/27: I enjoyed the new study book. It gives me a high to learn. I have such an unquenchable desire to study and learn about who God is. My desire is to be able to experience His sweet presence all the time. I don’t want to just stand outside of the tabernacle, I want to enter into the Holy of Holies. I want to bask in God’s presence in the Holy of Holies!
I helped Raelynn put together kits for the upcoming groups. I’m so happy to be used in even small things and to be able to see God do such big things in the LITM healing groups.
2/28: It rained all day today, and I’m not even depressed. The library outreach department emailed and said they plan on contacting me before the end of the week to schedule an interview. Only God knows the outcome of this upcoming meeting and He continues to give me courage every time I step out in faith.
My thoughts are becoming more Christ-centered and less self-centered. As I continue to grow in understanding who He is and how much He loves me, my relationship with Him grows. The true, godly sorrow I’ve been praying for is beginning to come!
3/1: I awoke to the howl of blustery winds, pelting hail, and a torrential downpour.
I spent a very long time in the Word today. I wonder if it’s possible to get burn out. I’ve never experienced this much desire to do anything. I think I could study most of the day and be in utter bliss. I love to learn what the Holy Spirit is ready to reveal!
I’ve been trying to brainstorm ways to be able to share what I’m learning so that I’m not only receiving, but also giving. A Christian will become stagnant like the Dead Sea if she has no outlet. It’s called receiving and giving.