Rhonda's Recovery Journey

“The footprints we leave behind show clearly where we have been, but they do not dictate where we can now go.” ~Ralph Martson

Week 35

2/9: I wasn’t very hungry at breakfast because I was excited about possibly getting a donation from Walt Disney for theme park passes. Thankfully, Rae Lynn called me and followed up with me and asked what website I saw this on. She made me look and realize that this process of asking and receiving wasn’t always for everyone. Walt Disney only donates to certain states and Indiana isn’t one of them. My “roller coaster” high had come to an abrupt halt. Thank goodness she called and saved me from time and work.

Worked on finishing resume and cover letter. I’ve just had nothing but problems in getting the information I need and transferring it back and forth between laptop and home PC. I love technology, and I loathe technology. While in the process of trying to get onto Vera Bradley’s charitable donation site, a red alert popped up and started buzzing. Virus. Oh great, that’s all I need.

Mom asked how eating was going which made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. It helps me to know she cares. I know you’re reading this mom, and I love you to the far reaches of the earth and beyond!!!!!!!!! Studied about Noah and how God told him to build an arkie arkie, LORD told Noah to build him an arkie, arkie. Build it out of gopher barkie, barkie. Children of the LORD. I can’t get that children’s song out of my head.

2/10: Cafeteria called to tell me there was a miscommunication and they didn’t need me to sub today. My heart sank. I had my mind and body ready to go. I spent the morning cleaning and job hunting. Went to several more businesses to see if they’d contribute to fundraiser raffle baskets. It looks like McCabe’s Nursery is going to put together a hanging basket. I can’t wait. They do terrific work!

My sugar has been running extremely high today so I haven’t been feeling that good. It’s probably because of the increase of calories and the stress I have from trying to eat right. It’s hard, but God fills me with so much joy from eating well that it’s worth even the hardest of hard.

2/11: This evening was my church’s 30 year anniversary celebration. We gathered at the Country Club to have a meal, listen to a special trio, and hear a special singing group and guest speaker. It was a lovely evening. I didn’t even get nervous about the meal. I had no idea what we’d be served, but I just pictured myself coming through it happier and healthier. The raffle donation that one company made (mentioned on 2/8 blog post) was a bummer. It was some little samples of men’s cologne. This is a women’s event.

2/12: Attended Sunday School for the 1st time in a long time. We made out cards for the shut-ins, the sick and those who’d recently lost loved ones. It was a wonderful time of fellowship with my sisters in Christ! This afternoon I went back to the store to see if they could at least swap these tiny samples for women’s perfume. The manager was unkind and irritated and said she couldn’t. I told her that we couldn’t use them for this specific event and asked her if she would pass them on to another organization that could use them. I wanted someone to benefit from these samples. She was rude and I don’t think I’ll be shopping here in the future.

2/13: Today I have been discouraged. I need a job and have been striking out. I know that I just have to be patient and continue to apply for different jobs. It’s just hard for me because money is low and I hate the thought of having to depend on my parents. I want and need to be able to stand on my own, with God as my ultimate power source, of course. We had a meeting for LITM to discuss Fashion Event Fundraiser. I was gung-ho last week, but my sizzle is diminishing.

2/14: I’m much more down and discouraged than I was yesterday. I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’ve lost almost every ounce of life that was in me. I’ve just been going through the motions of the day with no life. Went to see my brother and family. Ava stayed in her room playing with a little neighbor friend so I didn’t get to see much of her. She’s growing so quickly! I think her looks have changed within the past month. Came home to do some editing and this spurred me to memorize the names of the 12 disciples.

To read Rhonda’s backstory, click here.