Rhonda's Recovery Journey

“The footprints we leave behind show clearly where we have been, but they do not dictate where we can now go.” ~Ralph Martson

Week 28

12/22: I’ve been full of joy. My glucose has been good too. I’ve been thinking deeply about Christ’s birth and all that this wonderful event entails. As I read, I like to picture myself at the event as a spectator. This helps me to “feel” the actions and emotions. I emptied my dresser of summer clothing and brought out winter. I don’t think I’ve eaten a nut before, so I decided to try a few cashews. They were VERY good. Now I know why mom tells us to keep them out of her sight. I spent the rest of the evening in study and prayer and then looked through old recipe books.

12/23: I didn’t get in any God time until tonight and I can see a big difference. I’ve been edgier and depressed. I want to get called in to work so bad I can hardly stand it. I haven’t been nervous or fearful about the upcoming holiday meals.

12/24: It was a restless night of low glucose. I woke with a horrible headache. I got a notice in the mail that SSI wants to schedule a hearing date to determine whether or not I have to repay almost $5,000. Their system is so screwed up that if they had better communication between the departments themselves and with the claimants, they wouldn’t have all of these issues. It was an enjoyable dinner and evening with my family. My aunt and uncle were even able to come. I ate a dinner roll for dinner too!

12/25: I had beef roast for the first time today. I don’t have much of a taste for red meat, but I did like Aunt Bobbie’s roast. I rode home with Brad and Amanda and felt guilty for having to leave earlier than everyone else, but I really wanted to get back and pay a visit to the nursing home and deliver cookies. I visited with one woman from the church for almost 2 hours but was unable to see the others because they were asleep. It was a delightful evening.

12/26: Mom was off work and we all decided to go to the mall. I got all bent out of shape, to the point of tears, because I couldn’t find anything that looked good on me. I’m so thin that it’s excruciating to dress in anything other than sweats and long t-shirts. When I finally found something, I couldn’t find a baseball cap to mask my bad-hair-day-do. Mom came up with the perfect hat solution. Thanks, mom!! Eating is at a dull lull.

12/27: I got done reading “Dream Giver” and have been thinking about what kinds of dreams and passions I have. I’ve never had any big dreams or direction. My dream came into being when I began this journey. All I know is that I want to serve God with all of my might. His plans are huge and I see His fingerprints all over this journey. I am fully assured that His plans are greater than I could ever ask or imagine, and I’m resting in faith upon His promises.

12/29: I ran into Chick, a neighbor, when I went for a walk. He invited me over to see the “ugliest deer on earth.” It was a 6-7-year-old stag that he and his son have been wanting to shoot for 3 years. This deer never shed his antlers. His testicles never dropped, so he’d never been reproductive either. I almost feel sorry for this guy. Even deer have their share of abnormalities. Chick sent me home with some summer sausage that he concocted from the deer meat. I’ve had nothing but problems today trying to get Journey posts emailed. I finally had to go to the Community Center to try sending them. It was a very long and arduous task, but it worked. I’m relieved! I added more meat to my lunch sandwich and added a slice of angel food cake. Even a little extra is better than none at all.

To read Rhonda’s backstory, click here.