Rhonda's Recovery Journey

“The footprints we leave behind show clearly where we have been, but they do not dictate where we can now go.” ~Ralph Martson

Week 20

10/27: Day 2 of work went well. Eating a snack on the way gives me the extra boost I need to feel good. The meal today consisted of chicken nuggets which brought about an unexpected conversation with a woman I’m working with. She said her daughter struggled with an eating disorder, went to a therapist, and is doing much better now. Before I could even speak a word; hungry kids came charging in for lunch. I’m sure time will lend its hand to the subject another day. I couldn’t ask for a better group to work with! Went with a group from church to hear the Collingsworth family. Great concert! Kim Collingsworth is the most gifted pianist I’ve ever heard. She’d make most great pianists look like amateurs.

10/29: I would title today, “Ode to Breakthroughs.” Cut down on the pudding/yogurt, ate a morning and afternoon snack, and ate square meals at breakfast and dinner. My goal now is to memorize Psalm 139. It has such meaning and a beautiful flow. I have a much easier time memorizing songs, but I’ll give it a try. Even if I can only memorize parts of it, that’s better than nothing.

10/30: I had the urge exercise before church, but chose quiet time instead. My time with God is fulfilling and leaves me joyful. As today progressed, I grew increasingly depressed and touchy for no reason. I pushed myself to go for a walk after lunch, but I was too down to even walk, so I came home for a nap. Maybe I’m just edgy due to fatigue. Nope, I lay for an hour with no shut eye. Mom came into my room and tried to get me to go for a walk with her, but I declined the offer. I just feel like being isolated and crying. Since there was absolutely no reason for my mood, I began to suspect evil spirits of oppression. I hauled myself out of my room to try a walk again. I could hardly go. I felt as if a heavy weight was on me physically and mentally. I decided to talk out loud so that if there were any oppressive spirits, they would hear me loud and clear. “God, please help me, send your angels to drive away any demons that may be around and to minister to me. I kid you not, right at that instant, I felt so joyful!!! I’ve never experienced anything like this. Let me tell you right now, there is a spiritual realm that we can’t see with the naked eye. It’s a battleground, and the only way we can fight successfully is to know who the Victor and our Defender is. God is omnipotent and He can crush the enemy with a single breath. I stand in utter awe and wonder. Thank you for revealing yourself to me today, God. I’m a witness to your unsurpassable power and glory!!! Ate a great salmon meal for dinner and got to talk to Mark, my long-distance bro. It has been a great day.

10/31: Got an early call to fill in at the high school, which I accepted. Let’s just say it wasn’t as welcoming as the middle school and leave it at that. I agreed to go back tomorrow if needed. I try to look at this job as a means of just being myself and being a reflection of God’s glory, no matter where I’m placed and no matter how much I like/dislike it. Had a great time Halloweening with Ava and family. I’m like a kid. I look forward to dressing up every year! My brother was just coming back from therapy and was in a pleasant mood. I really didn’t know what to expect after the last encounter. It makes my heart happy to see him with a grin on his face. I continue to pray in great expectation that God will change his life in a miraculous way. I want him to experience all of the wonderful things God has for him.

11/1: Another good breakfast. I got a chance to talk to my neighbor who told me about another male neighbor and his family. No one could ever imagine all of the complications they are having physically and relationally. When it rains it pours, and its hailing on them! I do believe God wants me to pray for this family. I consider it a privilege to pray for those He has laid in my path.

11/2: I worked at the middle school today and it went well. Even though I don’t get lunch until 1:45-2:00p.m. I have been eating. I need to eat more, but it’s so hard knowing that dinner runs so close to lunch. I had a yearning to go into the dark field tonight to pray and possibly write, so out I trudged with my notebook, Bible, flashlight and chair. I tearfully beckoned God reveal His majestic glory in everything I write. I told Him I come as Queen Esther came before King Ahasuerus to make her petition before him. Though I already knew God heard my prayer, I still begged Him to speak to me in any way, to confirm He considered my petition. I then, with expectancy, threw my Bible open and guess where it landed. When I saw the book of Esther, I burst into tears once again. There it was Chapter 9. Verse 12 was God’s answer to my plea. The king said to Esther, “Now what is your petition? It shall be granted to you. Or what is your further request and it shall be done.” I’m so excited I could scream, just to know I have met with the King of Kings!!! I came back in the house and began typing next month’s LITM devotion.

To read Rhonda’s backstory, click here.