Rhonda's Recovery Journey

“The footprints we leave behind show clearly where we have been, but they do not dictate where we can now go.” ~Ralph Martson

Week 17

10:6: I can sense a feeling of peace about the walking. I can honestly say I exercised out of freedom today not out of addiction. I had a wonderful time of study and prayer. I craved French toast before bedtime instead of pudding. What a welcome craving this was in comparison to the monotonous pudding and yogurt routine.

10/7: I had another great time of learning and application in study, and prayer time was sweet. I wish I could sense this sweet, loving peace continually. The end of warm weather is coming to a close, and I wanted to enjoy the warmth to its extent. I felt deep conviction about walking so much, so I stopped. By this time, I’d already over-exercised so stopping the walk shorter than desired still seemed to be a vain gesture.

10/8: I only walked 1 mile this morning. I was fine with that for the rest of the day. I didn’t even experience any guilt for not walking more. As soon as I ate dinner I delved backed into Beth Moore’s Praying God’s Word, read the Word, and prayed.

10/9: Before church I hauled my lawn chair to a sunny spot in our back field. I had such an enjoyable and peaceful time of prayer and study. I cherish moments like these. I finally craved something other than sandwich meat at lunch so I ate a Mediterranean Chickpea burger. It hit the spot. My family and I walked on a local trail and then visited my brother, his girlfriend and my niece. I walked with Ava, my niece, to the cemetery just beyond their backyard. My heart melted when we got over there and Ava saw my brother across the way, waved her precious little hand, and yelled “Hi dad”. I wanted to cry. It made my think of me coming to my heavenly Father in prayer and saying, “Hi Dad, I adore you so much.” I baked a scrumptious apple pie after our return, ate dinner, and then went back to Bible study and reading of other devotionals.

10/10: I spent a great deal of time roosting (or should I say roasting) in the sun, taking in the Word, and praying. I cannot describe the bliss and joy I experience when I spend time with God. I put on the armor of God each day piece by piece without really thinking too much about what each one represents and how to apply it to myself and my walk with God. I’m now on a mission to dig deeply into the study of each piece and let my heart soak up this knowledge so that I may continually be transformed into Christ’s image. I want to know the enemy and I must absolutely know my armor, know how to use it, and know how to properly put it on to fight the enemy effectively. I went to visit my neighbors. They love just sitting out on their porch and chatting. Both of them have health problems, but they never complain. They make me feel so welcome. I actually craved oats and a piece of toast before bedtime. Here’s the problem, I also craved pudding and ate that too. I wasn’t a bit hungry, yet I still craved it. This is an area that I really need to pray about.

10/11: At breakfast I thought about eating and drinking to the glory of God (1 Cor. 10:31). I focused on doing it out of my love for Him. This focus gave breakfast a whole new meaning. God laid it upon my heart to thoroughly study the meaning of Psalms 119:67. I exhausted every cross-reference and concordance I could until I’d answered the many questions I had. I cannot tell you the things that God will reveal to you when you’re a willing learner. I began a needless walk this afternoon which was soon thwarted by the Holy Spirit. He began convicting me and I thought about what I fed on earlier in the Word. I took my skinny little rumpus and my lustful desire and turned back. I am so very thankful for strong Holy Spirit convictions and the depth of love He shows for me, despite my erring ways.

10/12: Had another beautiful time in study and prayer. My study took me to Psalms 119 and beyond. What I’m experiencing is so comparable to David’s plea to God. I plead with God as David did and say, “Teach me Your statutes, LORD, give me understanding, my hope and delight is in Your word.” After working around the inside and outside of the house, I crashed. I’ve been so tired today that my heart is fluttering. The short nap helped. I’m more vulnerable to Satan’s attacks when I’m exhausted. I took a 20 minute walk after my nap and meditated upon what God is teaching me from the Psalms. I spent another hour this evening taking notes and studying. I ate popcorn at bedtime for the first time in a long time. Popcorn sprinkled with salt, pepper and a touch of Splenda is mmm, mmm, good!

To read Rhonda’s backstory, click here.