By Alison Feinauer

Oh no! A friend invited me to dinner. Where are we going to go? Will it be a cheat meal? Should I really start this diet today if I’m going to blow it there? Oh no! I better check the menu before I go and look up the calories. Maybe I could order something without butter and dry. I bet their sauce is so, so good.  Will there be bread before? I hate to ask them to hold the basket, but I know I’ll eat all the rolls, because, oh that butter!  Ugh!  I’m not sure I should even go. Maybe I should cancel.  I’ll just eat at home and then we could go for coffee.  Then again, maybe I’ll eat everything I really want. I deserve a good meal, and then the next day start my diet.

Can you relate?  This plays on repeat every time I get asked to go out to eat!

Now, imagine one day meeting your friend in a restaurant for dinner. This is really the first time you thought about how excited you are to come to this restaurant since she asked you three weeks ago. It’s been a while since you’ve seen her too.  Now you glance at the menu and order anything you want because it sounds good and the thought of the calories doesn’t even cross your mind. You are hungry but not famished.  You get your plate, enjoy your food, but enjoy your conversation and connection with your friend even more.  You eat most of your plate but leave the rest cause you are really full and could take some home tomorrow for lunch.  You look at your friend and think, this has been an amazing conversation and I loved being with you.  Then you thank her for the invite and set up another time to meet.

Sounds amazing, huh? If only life was like that. If only I could experience that freedom.  The storyline I’ve been through a million times, whenever people and food intersect, I have to go there.

But, the Lord has promised an abundant life, and where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.  When I think of that life, I think of one without these struggles, this constant need for analysis, or for the comfort of food.  I think of being able to have food for fuel and some celebration.

So I will continue my wrestling with God. He has made us promises of Healing and Freedom and Hope.  There is a lot of wrestling in the Bible, and I think God wants that with us.  He wants us to come to Him and have these conversations.

Why don’t you go on a date with God? Ask Him to dinner. Spend time praising Him and telling Him your deepest desires.  Cry out to Him and hold Him to his promises.  He wants that kind of relationship with you.  I know it.

Keep fighting for freedom.  I believe we will see it in the land of the living.