What you are about to read is one woman’s recovery journey up close, personal, and in real time. Rhonda Stinson, my longtime friend and sister in Christ, has been battling an eating disorder for a very long time. She is ready to be free! Over the coming weeks and months, Rhonda has agreed to share her journey with us – the good, the bad, and the ugly. We pray that you are encouraged and empowered through her story.
The footprints we leave behind show clearly where we have been, but they do not dictate where we can now go. ~Ralph Martson
Week 1: The Journey Begins
June 9: Rae Lynn encouraged me to begin reading Scripture cards, praying, and journaling. I actually enjoyed doing these things! I’m full of so much joy today. I feel like a completely different person. The eating disordered patterns didn’t disappear overnight like I’d always prayed for, but I know I’m a changed person, so I’ll face each addictions one by one. I quit chewing up food and spitting it out. I feel so free! No more gum chewing and spitting out saliva to avoid a few calories. The extremes I went to in order to restrict calories are so disgusting.
June 11: Today was yard sale day, so my eating schedule was totally off the norm. I’m so strict when it comes to eating times, so it’s a true miracle that I was able to eat at these crazy times and still be at peace and not feel guilty. I didn’t even cut back on food intake. Began reading “Brokenness, Surrender, Holiness” authored by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. I stumbled upon this book while cleaning off a dusty bookshelf for the yard sale. This was definitely a Godsend. His timing is perfect. I ate a full piece of salmon. Usually I never eat a full piece of anything. By the time I get done cutting it in half and spitting it out, not much is left to actually ingest. This full piece will help to fuel my mind and body.
June 12: The pastor’s sermon today was just for me! He spoke about Abraham’s walk of faith. The Spirit was working and prompted me to rededicate my life and to publicly profess my new walk. I didn’t exercise today and didn’t end up taking a nap. I usually get severely depressed when I don’t exercise and try to sleep it off. I wasn’t depressed this time. Went to church tonight for the first time in months and actually enjoyed myself. I usually skip Sunday evening dinner, but I ate with joy and growling stomach.
June 14: Doing puzzles at mealtimes has to stop. Ate two pieces of French toast instead of one for breakfast. No guilt. Took a walk after breakfast and Satan was insistently trying to place doubts in my mind about this new walk. He picked the perfect time because I felt so guilty. See, I was doing a puzzle at breakfast and quickly slid it away when mom entered the room because I didn’t want to place any doubts in her mind about my re-dedication. I’m so positive of this life change I told Satan to get behind me because God has called me and He is my protection. I got out a crossword puzzle at lunch for a couple of minutes and put it away. I wanted to do puzzles so bad! I began to reach for it again, but refused to fall prey. No puzzles the rest of the day. I didn’t even have the urge.
June 15: I haven’t spit anything out since the 8th and the urge to do puzzles is decreasing. Tomorrow I plan to begin decreasing exercise. Oh, dear God help me!!!! This one is a ginormous mountain that only You can remove. Humble me and strengthen me tomorrow, God.
To be continued…