Today’s Post by: Rae Lynn DeAngelis

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

That saying sounded pretty good rolling off our adolescent tongues when someone’s hurtful words spewed venom, but it wasn’t really true. Words can do a whole lot of damage.

James reminds us that there is great power in our words.

“Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.” (James 3:5-6)

I can relate all too well to the damaging effects of hurtful words. When I was a child, comments about my weight and appearance took a huge toll on my already low self-esteem. To this day, I believe it was a major factor in my development of an eating disorder.

Today when I speak at schools and youth groups, I stress how damaging our words can be. I remind them that once a hurtful word leaves our mouth, it cannot be taken back. The damage is done.

Sharing James’s analogy that compares our tongues to a fire, I ask the students how it is possible for a small spark to ignite a forest fire. They reply that the conditions must be right—extremely dry and windy.

I then explain that the same is true for our cutting words. Like a spark igniting a forest on fire, our hurtful words and comments have the power to set the course of a person’s life on fire… if the conditions are right.

Unfortunately, we cannot tell from outward appearance, the condition of a person’s spirit. Just as extremely dry forest conditions is a precursor to a forest fire, a person with low self-esteem is a precursor to a person’s radical response to the hurtful words spoken over them. Because we don’t know the condition of a person’s heart, we should guard our words carefully and speak only that which will build others up—not tear them down.

“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (Proverbs 12:18)

“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” (Proverbs 16:24)

“Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.” (Psalm 141:3)

Kids aren’t the only ones who have trouble guarding their words.  I need this gentle reminder too.

Words have the power to build up or tear down. The choice is ours.